Thursday, July 18, 2013

Avid Behaving Badly #9: Autosequences

Dear Avid,

Thank you for taking the time to read this letter.  I know that you're very busy fucking up someone else's job, career, and possibly life, and so I truly appreciate you stepping away from whatever catastrophe of television horror you were in the process of creating to listen to my humble question.

Why doesn't autosequencing work?

If timecode is a thing, and sorting by timecode is a thing, then why the fuck, when I sort my clips by goddamn timecode, do you sometimes just give me an autosequence of them that is fifteen fucking days long?!?  And then, when your shitty little single-processor-using compu-brain goes and makes a fifteen day long autosequence for no fucking reason, why do you even bother to alert me that the playlength toggle needs to be turned on?  I mean, if you know it needs to be turned on, why don't you just go ahead and turn the damn thing on already??

But I digress.

They say that the definition of insanity is repeating the same actions and expecting different results.  Autosequencing, then, is proof that you, Avid, are driving me fucking insane, because the way to fix a bad autosequence is to delete the bad sequence and then autosequence the exact same clips in the exact same order as before.

Like, hypothetically, if I have one clip that starts at TC 08;12;36;14, one that starts at 12;44;40;02, and one that starts at 23;11;14;00, why in the fucking pig-footed hells would you think that the last clip should go 32 HOURS before the first clip in the autosequence?  Oh, you don't think that this time?  That's good news.  I guess everything is totally fine and we can all go home now.  Dick.

Warm regards,

Friday, July 12, 2013

Avid Behaving Badly #8: No Such Thing as Project Templates?

Let's engage in some hypothetical discourse:

Hypothetically, you are the creator of a suite of editing software.
Hypothetically, you want this to be the go-to editing suite for professionals.
Hypothetically, you understand that once businesses design their workflow, they want to plug that workflow into every single one of their projects.

Any guesses what I'm talking about, here, Avid?  None?  I'm talking about this bullshit:

Seriously, how fucking hard is it to add project templates to this behemoth of a program?  If my goddamn Cannon Printer Software can store templates, how incredibly hard would it be for you to do it?  And I'm not talking about anything complicated here.  I'm just talking about making and naming a bunch of folders so as to save me from spending fucking days fixing some asshole's half-handed attempt at organization just so that I can actually do some goddamn work.

Do you know what I do?  I have a folder saved called "Templates" and inside it is a bunch of other folders named things like "01. Current Cuts", "02. Old Cuts", and "58. Avid Can Blow Me".  Then I just copy those folders into every single new project that I ever make.  All of them.  Especially the Avid Can Blow Me folder.  I copy that one like fifteen times.

You know what I'd like?  I'd like to have something like, and this seriously pains me to say, I'd like to have something like Microsoft Word or Excel, where when you make a new project, it pops up with "what template would you like to use" and then when I'm inside an existing project, I can go to the file menu and select "save template".  So come the fuck on, Avid, and get with the 1980's already.